He disappears and then, comes back to my life, as if he never left. What can I do?
Dear Effrosini,
My name is Alexandra and I am 44 years old. Two years ago, I met George, who is 44 years old on the Internet. I am unwed and he was married and then, divorced, having a five – year – old child. At first, we used to communicate very often and everything was fine. After several months, he started disappearing for days, and when he would come up, I was always there. Even if his disappearance bothered me, I kept on being there. After his postponing our meeting several times, we eventually managed to meet in person and annihilate the distance between us. During our time together everything was fine… But, when we got back into our routine, he repeated the pattern of disappearing and reappearing again. I text him; he reads the message and he never answers my phone calls or calls back.
I know that he is a good person, but his main flaw is that he disappears at various times and when he comes back, he believes that everything is as it used to be. I wonder if there is a way to handle the whole situation. I need your help.
Dear Alexandra,
“Zombieing”, that is the phenomenon of one’s disappearing and then, coming back as nothing happened, constitutes a common practice in contemporary dating. As for your story, there are many questions that remain unanswered. First of all, why did you choose to meet and maintain an “acquaintance”, relationship or something with someone that lives far away from you? Then, why do you insist on someone you have only met once these two years? How you ever considered what you expect from the situation between you and him? If yes, have you ever told George how you feel? Plus, how does he justify the communication gaps and his total absence. Last but not least, you should think the reason why you reply to his texts every time he comes back to your life. Answering these questions and ideally, writing them down, you will be able to better understand how to proceed with that situation. In the meanwhile, the above questions will arise others that will help you find out what is that you generally, expect from a romantic relationship. Discovering more about yourself and your desires, you will be able to find a way to handle that situation between you and George. Always bear in mind that your priority is Alexandra’s happiness. Should you need any further help, do not hesitate to contact me.
